Thursday, 9 April 2015

我走在每天必须面对的分岔路~

“我走在每天必须面对的分岔路,我怀念过去单纯美好的小幸福,。。。”

分岔路?以我的智慧,我觉得分岔路是长这个样子的。
可我现在的处境而是这个样子的。(下面有图)
现在跟我同年龄的人应该都已经在策划他们去大学要怎样怎样了。
有些人还不知从哪里找来大学的书开始啃了。
有些在那儿很兴奋的期待大学生活的到来,突然有了从来没有过的很想去上学的想法。
有些已在几个月前就已经开课,甚至现在也开始考试儿了。
当然有些人比较没有能力继续学业,就这样投入了社会的怀抱,到了工作世界。

本少爷呢现在真是他妈的无奈在这儿还在想着同样的事儿。
我喜欢什么科呢?我要去哪里读呢?是不是我真正要的呢?会后悔吗?
很像安蒂那样,优柔寡断。(只有这个时候!)
其实老实说,我现在是有 几 个选择的啦。

第一,我可能拿到 Matrikulasi 去读政府的,可是那个机率很小而且下个星期才放榜。
顺利进到的话我肯定是理科系,不用再选了,过后就容易拿我要读的课程(可能教育系吧,过后再来想)。

第二,我可以去读中六。中六虽然是有点挑战,可是他的水准去到哪里都会承认,不像 Matrikulasi 那样。读中六我肯定也是理科(我根本就是个理科生了),过后去政府大学的话就听天由命吧!大家都说读中六是在浪费时间,可是想想我们必须用一辈子的时间来工作,读多那样一年算什么。在我的学校我也容易获取蛮高的课外活动分(吾乃华乐团员)。

第三,我可以去拉曼大学读 ,很多人都读那边,很出名!它为什么出名原因只有一个,价格便宜。就感觉谁都可以去。我去的话,我可以免学费不知是一个学期还是什么。别的私立大学一个学期的学费在拉曼可以毕业了。虽说是不贵,可是那里的课程也不简单哦。有人因此跳楼过。阿弥陀佛。
读私立大学有个好处那就是你可以选择你要读的科。可为什么我犹豫那么久呢?首先那边有人称他为“小南华”。去到那边我肯定又是看到一样的脸孔。就会有那种明明同班但是根本不是同学感觉。我去到那边会孤单、不开心吗?我还不知道。至于要选什么科,我是有几个选择了,一个我相信没很多人读、特别的科。 

第四(应该是最后了),托我亲戚们和副班长的福,我申请了去 Petronas 大学读。申请了 助学金(可没把表格印下来)、也交了 30 令吉手续费,目前在准备把信寄过去。Petronas 大学那里读的是科技以及工程系,已我的兴趣我肯定是念工程系。可现在想想我很像对工程系也没什么兴趣,怎么办呢?先寄过去再来打算?(付了30令吉咧)他给我贷学金的话又怎么办?有点后悔我申请来做什么。。唉。。。

最近,我听电台有一句台词:“有时候多不一定好!”
我发现我太高估了我自己(以为我真是全才),给了自己太多路选择。
可是现在又面对了一个难题--------做选择。
释迦摩尼佛、主上帝还有诸位神做的最公平的事儿就是,每一个人每一天都只有 24 小时。
在对的时间做对的事儿,那么才会充实、时间才不会就这样浪费掉。
本骑士现在最懊恼的其实不是不懂该选什么,而是没有那个勇气去赌一把、没有勇气做选择。
我认为,就算做了一个错误的选择,适应能力、人缘好的话一切都会习惯也会尝试去喜欢。
这也当作是命运的安排。

我听见很多人都读会计,其实也蛮适合我的强项的,可是。。。
峰哥问过:“是否找個理由~~隨~波逐流?
其实我很不想。

唉~唉·~怎么办呢?就这样看着办吧!



Saturday, 17 January 2015

Dai Sam yat

Today is my third day work.
I work afternoon shift..

In the morning, I went to learn driving.
I can easily mastered the driving skill, but usually I drive quite fast and will forget some important part that I do not think it is so important.
These parts can failed me immediately.
Anyway, I believe that practise makes perfect.
I have another two more times to practise.
I must pay attention and do properly so that I am really master the skills.
I do not want to take the driving exam more than one time.
Please..

In Jeans Station, everything is the same.
Less customers, the sales I can count with one of my hands and there are remainders..
I bring one novel to my shop to read..
The novel "哈棒传奇" actually cannot fill my empty heart because it was not that interesting.
The life in the shop is still that boring.
But something special happened..
I read almost half the book in one day.
This is really once in a blue moon in myself.
Anyway, every job have their difficulties.
Mine is too boring.
Anyway, I will always try to do well in everything..

Today in the afternoon, kak Azira and kak Shira went out to don't know what restaurant and "da bao" some food back to anyone who ordered.
I ordered "nasi bujang".
I seldom eat Malay meal.
Actually it taste okay.
My 同事 quite nice I think.
I am not the kind who can easily Mix with other people.
In additional, we are not the same race.
There are females and their thinking not same as me.. maybe we are not "sebaya".
Anyway, I will try to find ways so that I won't live so miserable..
Haha ha ha...

Sometimes I do stand near the entrance at my shop to seek for friends.
But not many walk through my shop.
Guess w/o I met today.
I met Kathryn!
We chat a while and I talk about my life at my shop..
I also know that other friends who work here also getting fed up because of some reasons.
I may just work after I get my allowances.
Because I want to try other kinds of jobs.
Actually I also want to left this place..
Haiz...

Anyway..
These are all what I think right now.
Everything will change..
Although now I hope to leave this place,
I may not want to leave here and love this place very much in the future because I have not use to it.
Living in this world is miserable....

Saturday, 10 January 2015

So sad

今天是我第二天上班。
今天我做 full time。。 怎么办啊?
要熬比较久啊。。
工作就是这样的咯。。
这种态度要改,不然会一直煎熬下去。
好希望可以快点习惯这样的生活。。

昨天我在面子书发了文可算发牢骚吧。。
分享我的感受。。
发现,其实其他朋友也都差不多是这样。。
在 aeon shopping mall 过着度秒如年的生活。。
只是等待时间过去。。

我的店是比较轻松啦,也没那么严。
我还能在这按电话,有椅子坐,要是老板觉得我可以了,他还会给我店的 WiFi 密码。。
至少有东西做来消磨时间。。

唉。。。
今天,我带一本小簿子记录店里需知的东西,也画了这间店的 plan。。
说真的,今天早上的时间比较快过。。
我的店还是一样,会飘来的人影是少到可怜的。。
会来消费的呢更是求之难得。。
不过无论如何我会找东西做来消磨时间的。。
虽然这样根本不是我要找工作的真正目的啦。。

今天早上,白衣骑士干了一件很惨的事。。
骑士和骑士妈妈有一点点小冲突。。
是这样的:
今早,我和妈妈去桃园那儿吃早饭那时候真的还早。。
妈妈吃完过后就要带我去工作了。。
我是有点不喜欢那个工作地方啦。。因为不爽嘛。。
可是妈妈又那么早就载我去哦。。
我去学校,补习,练习都不会太早去,所以我有点不是很习惯也不喜欢。。

过后,我要求妈妈走后面的门进离我店比较近。。
可是我妈仍然要走前门,让我走进去。。
她说很近罢了。。走一下不会死的。。
我就说一句话"你载我很辛苦吗?"
最后她说我自私,不会体谅她呀什么的。。最后气得最后随便停下我就走了。。

妈妈呀。。。我不知道要怎么说。。
算了吧。。

真的。。
我还是觉得我在这里很像埋没我那样。。
我选错工作吧。。
不过,我既然选择这样。。还是要坚持下去。。
我是什么都行的!!

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

2014 -> 2015

前言:其实我应该在几分钟前写的,不过我不理了!!

不知不觉现在已经 2015 年了,
不知为什么我总觉得 2014 年过得比较快。
可能我的生活比之前充实吧??(虽然还是蛮无聊的)
我就总结下我 2014 的生活吧。

刚进中五的时候,我是带着一颗对这个世界绝望的心。
我身边的人都离我而去、我被不同阶级的人对我的成见,差不多像是活得没有尊严那种。
毕竟“失败是成功之母”,我现在可以说是摆脱了这些束缚。
我认识了新的贵人、接受了新的更好的生活方式,
我也有尝试参与班上的人的活动。
离开我的人回来了、也认识到新的东西。
于是我对这个世界又有了希望。
有新的目标、新的理想。
我承认在这一年可以看见我在成长!(思想方面吧)
几不错一下的!

虽然现在过得还蛮不错的,不过还是有些地方需要改进的。
首先就是我的惰性了!
我真的被这个懒惰害惨了!
怎么说呢?不知道,太多了,说不完、说了也不是我的好东西。哈哈
接着是我的人事关系。
我有着非常“独特”的性格,这种性格的确有伤害他人的时候。
也许就是这样,很多人都不敢来“光顾”我。。哈哈哈
在这里我想对那些受到伤害的人道歉,对不起了。
我很希望我以后对待人不要那么有刺!
我会努力去改善的!!!

在新的一年,我有一些愿望和一些目标。
首先,我希望我身心健康。
有个健康强壮、不容易患上任何病症的身体,
就算患上了也会很快痊愈。
也有一个健康的心理。
不会胡思乱想、自己吓自己那种。
让我可以过得很快乐很快乐!!!

第二,我希望我可以事事顺利!
在 SPM 拿到全 A+ 的优等。。哈哈哈
可以进到大学先修,进到一个很棒的大学!
找到一个适合我的科目,
过后找到很棒的工作,
遇到我人生中的那个她。。。。。。。。。。。。还有很多很多

第三,我希望我和家人都健健康康、平平安安、过得快快乐乐!
我非常爱他们!
我想跟他们在一起久久久久久久久久久久久久久久久久久久久久久。。。。!!!!

还有就是我希望你不会给我二度的伤害。。。。。

哎哟哟!!我是该停下来了。晚了,要睡了
至于我的目标呢。。。。
先找个工作吧!!!!哈哈哈哈哈

别的呢。。。我往后还会在发文。。。哈哈哈
谢谢



最后,祝大家 2015 年新年快乐!!!

                                                                           






Sunday, 7 December 2014

此生我与“你”无缘

我好久都没有在这儿写文章了,最近我都过着行尸走肉的生活。
没有目的、没有追求、也没有真正要去做的事。
过了今天,我相信我会更加的难熬。为什么?
第一:爸爸妈妈去玩了,
第二:朋友们去当兵、旅行了。
过后就要和弟弟相依为命了。。

从昨天开始,朋友们都去当兵了!
我真是替他们感到高兴。
曾经,我是超级不想去当兵的,最好就是没选上我!
真幸运的,我没被选上去当兵。
可是,现在看着朋友们一个一个去当兵了,心里很是纳闷。

我姐姐之前也去当过兵,第一天打电话回家是哭着的,
可是到了回的那天她是不想回的。
她都会和我分享些在兵营里发生的事,有些很好玩、有些很好笑、有些听了会傻眼。。
感觉得到她很是高兴,在那儿有个很美好的回忆,现在还会找兵营认识的朋友出来聚会呢。

当中选的朋友们在忧虑的时候,我都会跟他们分享那里的好。
我也看了面子书上有人发影片,关于当兵的好,劝大家不要当逃兵。
去当兵可以认识到很多新的朋友、也能锻炼身子。
是个很好的体验,可以去试试。
不过现在我还在实兆远,我家电脑前打字。
没有机会去体验那些东西了。

你肯定问我为什么我不去申请呢?既然我有想要去。
我会这么样告诉你【他要我去的话,我会去的。可是他都不要我去,我去是为了什么?人家多么希望不要去我现在没被选上还想怎样?在怎么说放假去打工能够赚到比去那个地方多钱。。。。】
说道最后只不过实在维护我的自尊罢了。。

所以白衣骑士下定决心,在这剩下的假期。。一定要找东西做!打发时间。。 不要继续浪费时间下去。。时间不等人的。。在浪费下去我就要唱"还没好好感受年轻就老了"。。

现实: 我每天都在浪费时间。。唉

Zhengyuanyi 7/12/2014
最后两段是 10/01/2015 不上去的。。

Friday, 11 July 2014

因为单纯,结果。。。被骗、被耍、被作弄。。。

All these things happened today.
These really makes me feel hate, nervous, frustrated.....

My friend which is a treasurer asked me to pay fees to him.
He told me that if I do not pay, the whore will minus my marks.
I knew that this is his responsibility, and he is prudent, but i really hate the way he talked to me.
I asked him who had not pay the fees except me, but he arrogantly did not bother me and walked away.
I cannot stand this actually, but i don think i can do anything.
I just pretended to be nothing had happened.

All these depends on which side you stand, the whore or me.
You may think I am an extremely stubborn or the whore is fuss.
But as a student, don't need to doubt, I always lose. 
Actually, I do not know what to do right now.
I feel furious and upset.

Sure you will ask me why I so stubborn. 
The marks help in my future.
Sure i have my reason or my pretense.
The fees is very expensive if i compared to other society.
Others annual pay, but our monthly pay.
I can do many thing with this much of money.
They thought money is easy to earn.

This society, i have spent my whole high school career on it.
The whore treats me like this, she not willing to give the marks. 
Fine! I am disappointed with you. 
That is impossible to me to pleasing someone like you.
You are the worst teacher i met.

This mean that I pay that much of money for the 10 marks? 
If I convert it, it does not more than 5 marks.
If really pay, I think you will use this despicable way again.
That time I have to listen to you again?

Besides, this society makes me know about the reality.
It shows me that there is impossible to meet a person called a "friend".
Most of the human do things just for benefits.
The do everything just to obtain the benefits.
They even betrayed their "friends", their conscience, pleasing to others, throw away dignity, deceit...
I faced all these before, so I know.
I 'd wasted my time on this and I miss the more urgent school life.
I feel i am very stupid and naive.
Why actually I join the society.
I really hope the society ends immediately.
Something destroy the building.

I know what I write here, how I say, what I thought are negative and not right.
I even know I did something wrong.
But I have to express out my thought, otherwise I will be mad.
Anyway, I hope i can do the right decision.
I have one week to consider about this.

Actually, I just hope someone can console me.
I have a broken heart these few days.

(PS: The word "whore" is a bad word. Please do not use it, and do not learn anything from this post.)

Thank you.

Wednesday, 25 June 2014

5SA CLASSMATE'S BIRTHDAY

Today is my classmate, Mr. Lee's birthday.

Mr. Lee comes from Pangkor.
He is good in everything include academic and sports.
He is also kind and helpful.
Last holiday, he brought us to Pangkor and played together at there.
We love him very much.

From last week, we had planned to celebrate his birthday.
We wanted to give him a surprise.

This morning, after the recess, 10 of our classmates went for the "scavenger" hunt, an activity carried out during the English week.
Mr. Kok distributed sticky notes for every people.
Everyone was required to write a wish to him.
When he came back to the class, all of us sticked our wishes on him.
I could see his expression. He was extremely shocked.
After that, we sang birthday song with 4 different languages to him as well.
We (almost all 5SA member) also gave him a football for him as his birthday present.

In the evening, after the Additional Mathematics tuition.
We went to the Bread Forest Restaurant and celebrated his birthday.
This is more like my class gathering. (I think so)
We had our dinner there.
We sang birthday song again.
We also make noises in the restaurant.
We were very happy.

After that, we went to Blackball and continued enjoying.
Although many of us had gone home, we still managed to play some games at there.
The restaurant had very less customers, so we did not care about how big the noises we made.
We played "Spy" and "baram baram" with punishments.
Luckily i did not punished.
We also took many photograph during the celebration.
Miss Ling love selfie. She took photos with almost all of us, but most of them were her selfies.
(I did not took any photo, all the photo can be seen in facebook and instagram I think.)

At about 2100hrs, we went home because it was already late.
We have to go to school tomorrow.

In a nutshell, I feel very happy today.
This is a very happy moment in my life with my classmate ( I should call them "friends").
I hope I can always have this happy moment and always be with my friends.
Seriously, 5SA,I love you all very much!